Dear Reader,
This is a more personal/ranting type of blog post that I’m hoping some of you can relate to or at least speak on. All my life I’ve considered myself to be straight, I’ve been boy crazy since I had my first crush on Logan Cox who was in my 3rd-grade class...who ended up choosing a 2nd grader over me. I consider myself straight but sometimes I’ll ask myself the question every girl asks herself at least once in her life, “Do I want to be her or do I want to date her?” I’ve exchanged a kiss with a girl here and there at college parties but I had never actually explored that option. There was a point towards the end of college when I started to ask myself, “Why did I do that if I’m straight?” Once I took a Sex & Love course my last quarter, I realized why college was such a commonplace for experimentation.
Authors Ward and Rupp & Taylor spoke about the ongoing issues of closeted homosexuality or at least the exploration of one’s sexual preference. There was a lot of information within this article that allowed me to see homosexuality in the male community from an entirely different perspective I wasn’t quite knowledgeable about. I was even more fascinated by Rupp & Taylor’s article on Straight Kissing because I’ve seen and also been part of this culture. I’ve always been told the theory that girls tend to kiss other girls because it’s a way to catch the male gaze; however, another theory that Rupp & Taylor brought up was that girls tend to kiss other straight girls so that they are able to experiment with their sexuality in a safe space because it’s college, partying, and drinking.
It wasn't until these past couple of months that I really questioned if I was possibly bisexual. My reasoning came from scrolling through Tik Tok and realizing that that 90% of my following was made up of beautiful females with very little male content on there. I’d notice small fan crushes that had developed for these women and I’d continue to scroll past the boys because some of their videos had me cringing. I confided in a friend of mine about questioning my sexuality, she informed me she had been questioning her sexuality as well but she thought it had a lot to do with Tik Tok and a deep admiration of how incredible the female species is. We both concluded that while we both love the beauty and power of women and that we’ve also only dated men, the idea of actually having sex with a female didn’t seem like something we were interested in...for now ;) We blamed Tik Tok for having too many beautiful people on it and we ended the conversation wondering where all these people were hiding? Anyways the point is fuck the labels, I love that we’ve grown to become comfortable with the idea of a spectrum/scale/or just doing whatever the fuck we want because it’s our body and our choices.
I was just wondering if you guys had any coming-out stories you would be comfortable with sharing? Has social media impacted you in a way that’s made you question your sexuality? At what point did you decide to say fuck it to the labels?
Have you been one to kiss girls for fun or for experimentation?
While I’ve often only seen females experimenting in college, I’ve rarely seen two men involved in this...anyone wants to touch on that comment down below?
Sincerely,
K